She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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