Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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