Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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