Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Drunk is a universal language darling
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
