If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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