But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Sober January is a disaster.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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