So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
