Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
