the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
