I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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