I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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