look no pants
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize