I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
