Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
