sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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