if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
