Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
