I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
