So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
