it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
