Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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