no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
