Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
