4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
