there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
