I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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