did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Holy sore nipples Batman
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize