I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
