It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize