he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
