Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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