I hate all girls vehemently.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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