there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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