we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
