One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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