dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
