Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
