Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
