A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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