He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
