i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
