I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
