Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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