i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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