She is in my trunk
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
