Please, let me fuck your mom
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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