I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
