Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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