my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
