Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
