what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
