saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
