don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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