ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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