how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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