at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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