Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
