ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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